Marriage
Written and compiled by Shirobara
Marriage is the most serious commitment that two people can enter into.
Marriage is permanent until the mortal death of one of the spouses, though the love the two spouses share might never end.
A successful marriage does not require from either spouse fifty percent; it requires one hundred percent from both.
Divorce is an option only in cases of adultery and/or physically violent abuse. It is not an option in other cases such as prolonged physical separation (including imprisonments or disappearances); dramatic changes in health, physical appearance, beliefs, or even personality; or forms of abuse other than physical violence.
Marriage is one of, if not the most risky relationship anyone can enter into.
Marriage is a dance of devotion, partnership and friendship. The husband is not superior to the wife, but should nevertheless lead the dance. And as leader, he should serve, love, encourage, protect, and provide for his partner.
It is best to marry your best friend.
There should be no secrets between spouses.
Ideally, the husband should be the primary financial provider if possible.
Both wife and husband should do their best to remain both healthy and reasonably attractive. It should not be only the wife's obligation.
Both wife and husband should be as involved as possible in their child(ren)'s life/lives. Childrearing should not be only the wife's obligation and joy.
The husband should rarely if ever choose not to spend his free time at his wife's and/or child(ren)'s side. Doing things such as going places with friends after work instead of bringing his wife and/or children along with him; or returning home to help, be with and be there for her and/or them, is irresponsible and unthoughtful when unnecessary.
Regardless of the lengths to which one goes to change it, it is the wife who usually makes the most personal sacrifices for the sake of her family.
For the husband, no sacrifice -- be it money that he would otherwise spend on himself or time that he would otherwise spend relaxing -- should at any time be too great to make on behalf of his wife.
Husband and wife should recognize each other, and any children of theirs, as being more important than any relationship outside of their family (in this case, "family" refers to extended family as well as immediate).
One's relationships with the opposite sex outside of the marriage should never become more emotionally or physically intimate, involved or dependent than one's spousal relationship.
Wives need close female acquaintances more than their husbands need close male acquaintances.
Extra-familial persons of the opposite sex who once occupied emotionally or physically intimate, involved or dependent places in one's life (i.e., old boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.) are usually potential threats to one's marriage.
Love is a choice, a commitment and a lifestyle that is often initiated by, but might not always be constantly characterized by, romantic feelings.
Pornographic material is one of the greatest threats to any marriage.
One's wife might not be the most attractive person in the world, but she should be so in her husband's. (That is, the husband should foreswear to himself the beauty of all but his bride.)
Each spouse should endeavor to be on good terms with his or her in-laws.
Every personality changes over time, sometimes even drastically and/or even for the worse. Both spouses should be aware of that from the beginning, but neither should fear it.
A husband and wife own each other; each belongs to the other.
Each spouse should live for the other; the highest and most important goal of each spouse should be the fulfillment of the other spouse's hopes and dreams. However, after (a) child(ren) is/are born, that goal should become second to whatever would be best for the child(ren).
One should not be misled into believing that the typical "bachelor party" is a party held in honor of a future groom's approaching wedding day. In reality, though held in recognition of the approaching day, it views the wedding day as the beginning of a life-long prison-like sentence. (This, in keeping with most American men's view that marriage is a form of imprisonment.)
During the party, the groom's friends hire strippers to sexually please him. They service the groom and his friends. Also at the party, the married men tell scary stories to the groom about marriage. By the end of the party, everyone has become drunk.
Recently, "bachelorette parties," too, have become popular. Bachelorette parties are the same as bachelor parties. However, in bachelorette parties, the strippers are men, not women.
Prenuptial agreements are at best unnecessary and at worst malevolent toward the survival of a marriage. If a marriage is to endure, termination can never be an option.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
alycra's journal
distressed
optimistic