A place to scream ... LOL

Torn

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:11:19 GMT

One of those crossroads in life when you have to decide who you really want to be....

Do I be the preson I always wanted to be... or the person that seems more likely to fit me...

Something I found...

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 14:43:57 GMT

Marriage
Written and compiled by Shirobara

Marriage is the most serious commitment that two people can enter into.

Marriage is permanent until the mortal death of one of the spouses, though the love the two spouses share might never end.

A successful marriage does not require from either spouse fifty percent; it requires one hundred percent from both.

Divorce is an option only in cases of adultery and/or physically violent abuse. It is not an option in other cases such as prolonged physical separation (including imprisonments or disappearances); dramatic changes in health, physical appearance, beliefs, or even personality; or forms of abuse other than physical violence.

Marriage is one of, if not the most risky relationship anyone can enter into.

Marriage is a dance of devotion, partnership and friendship. The husband is not superior to the wife, but should nevertheless lead the dance. And as leader, he should serve, love, encourage, protect, and provide for his partner.

It is best to marry your best friend.

There should be no secrets between spouses.

Ideally, the husband should be the primary financial provider if possible.

Both wife and husband should do their best to remain both healthy and reasonably attractive. It should not be only the wife's obligation.

Both wife and husband should be as involved as possible in their child(ren)'s life/lives. Childrearing should not be only the wife's obligation and joy.

The husband should rarely if ever choose not to spend his free time at his wife's and/or child(ren)'s side. Doing things such as going places with friends after work instead of bringing his wife and/or children along with him; or returning home to help, be with and be there for her and/or them, is irresponsible and unthoughtful when unnecessary.

Regardless of the lengths to which one goes to change it, it is the wife who usually makes the most personal sacrifices for the sake of her family.

For the husband, no sacrifice -- be it money that he would otherwise spend on himself or time that he would otherwise spend relaxing -- should at any time be too great to make on behalf of his wife.

Husband and wife should recognize each other, and any children of theirs, as being more important than any relationship outside of their family (in this case, "family" refers to extended family as well as immediate).

One's relationships with the opposite sex outside of the marriage should never become more emotionally or physically intimate, involved or dependent than one's spousal relationship.

Wives need close female acquaintances more than their husbands need close male acquaintances.

Extra-familial persons of the opposite sex who once occupied emotionally or physically intimate, involved or dependent places in one's life (i.e., old boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.) are usually potential threats to one's marriage.

Love is a choice, a commitment and a lifestyle that is often initiated by, but might not always be constantly characterized by, romantic feelings.

Pornographic material is one of the greatest threats to any marriage.

One's wife might not be the most attractive person in the world, but she should be so in her husband's. (That is, the husband should foreswear to himself the beauty of all but his bride.)

Each spouse should endeavor to be on good terms with his or her in-laws.

Every personality changes over time, sometimes even drastically and/or even for the worse. Both spouses should be aware of that from the beginning, but neither should fear it.

A husband and wife own each other; each belongs to the other.

Each spouse should live for the other; the highest and most important goal of each spouse should be the fulfillment of the other spouse's hopes and dreams. However, after (a) child(ren) is/are born, that goal should become second to whatever would be best for the child(ren).

One should not be misled into believing that the typical "bachelor party" is a party held in honor of a future groom's approaching wedding day. In reality, though held in recognition of the approaching day, it views the wedding day as the beginning of a life-long prison-like sentence. (This, in keeping with most American men's view that marriage is a form of imprisonment.)
During the party, the groom's friends hire strippers to sexually please him. They service the groom and his friends. Also at the party, the married men tell scary stories to the groom about marriage. By the end of the party, everyone has become drunk.
Recently, "bachelorette parties," too, have become popular. Bachelorette parties are the same as bachelor parties. However, in bachelorette parties, the strippers are men, not women.

Prenuptial agreements are at best unnecessary and at worst malevolent toward the survival of a marriage. If a marriage is to endure, termination can never be an option.

Mother's Day

Thu, 17 May 2007 13:48:47 GMT

I had the greatest Mother's Day I think that I have ever had.

When I woke up My Love and I just laid in bed for a little bit. Then he got up and helped the kids make me breakfast. The brought it up to me and sat on the bed while I ate.

I got up and got dressed while the rest of the family was eating. My son had been playing Kingdom Hearts II, so I played a little bit of that for awhile. Then he came down and played for a little bit.

About this time, My Love handed me a paper showing our tickets to Rockfest (http://www.kcrockfest.com/). Yea! I have always wanted to go.

We all get ready and go down to Deanna Rose for the day. It was such a nice day. The kids were well behaved. It was really nice.

I had so much fun with my family. I can't imagine a better Mother's Day. It was great.

Some Memories ...

Tue, 15 May 2007 05:01:31 GMT

Last night he danced with me. It was wonderful. We had the radio on in the living room and he came up behind me and put his arms around me. We started swaying with the music. I could here him singing quietly in my ear "if I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world". I put my head on his chest I notice it is the wolf one. I love that shirt, I remember going to meet him in Davenport and him wearing that shirt. I know he is happy that I am wearing that new red shirt. He is running his hands up and down my arms and back just feeling the shirt. I love dancing with him. I feel so special in his arms. I know that this is an us thing... I know I am the only woman he has ever danced with and the only one he ever will...

Why didn't anybody tell me....

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 00:10:53 GMT

Is Your Husband Gay? (in this case ex...)

If your husband thinks you are a nymphomaniac or "pushy and aggressive" because you want sex twice a week.

If sexual activity steeply declines within the first few years of marriage.

You're always more sexually aggressive than your husband.

If your husband is turned off by the thought of touching your vaginal area or performing oral sex on you.

If his best friend is gay.

If he hangs out in gay bars.

If he enjoys watching gay porn movies and surfing gay porn Web sites.

If he is excessively homophobic, mocking and imitating other gay men.

If he brags about gay men complimenting him on his looks.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3072451&page=3

Now I don;t know how many of these have to have an answer yes too... but is half enough?

This is sweet

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 06:01:51 GMT

He came to her on a starry night
Her the lady, he the knight
And knelt before her on the ground
Her hands within his own he bound
And gazed into her starlit eyes
Illuminated by the lunar rise
And smiling, produced to her a ring
A trinket to most, a trifled thing
And said to her those words she dreamed
And faltered not, although it seemed
He would.

And she, exuberant, looking down
Could not recall when last she'd frowned
Though tears flowed freely down her face
And settled on her moonlit lace
Her face bespoke rapturous elation
Outshining God's surrounding creations
And opening her delicate mouth
One whispered word made to slip out
And soared across the enchanted night
And on his ears it made to alight
With growing cheer upon its advent
His heart soared forth whenst it gained the content
And all doubts dashed he embraced her dearly
For though it seemed unlikely,
She would.

And spinning upon that ghostly hill
That gorgeous spine of earth instilled
It seemed, with all the wonder of the world
This dear young couple their hearts unfurled
And then, exuberance smiting his face
He stepped away to leave her place
She glanced and questioned lovingly
Where go thou now, my dearest sweet?
And to the world his voice he hurled
"I think, my dear, I shall conquer the world."

- Kevin Bratcher -

...

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 19:25:40 GMT

~No girl or guy is worth your tears, and the one who is will never make you cry.

Meh ...

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 21:33:08 GMT

I really wish I had something to say....

But ... I know better. Not allowed.

Should've, Could've, Would've ...

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 16:50:54 GMT

This is what people say non-stop. I should have done this ... or I would have done this, if not for this other thing...

I think phrases like this kill me. It does not make me feel any better that you "thought" about helping and just couldn't make it happen. That just makes the weight heavier. Cuz while you have that luxury ... I don't. It just remimnds me that I don't.

No Subject Really ...

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 15:48:39 GMT

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Check it out
Going out
On the late night
Looking tight
Feeling nice
It's a cock fight
I can tell I just know
That it's going down
Tonight
At the door we don't wait cause we know them
At the bar six shots just beginning
That's when dick head put his hands on me
But you see

CHORUS
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Midnight I'm drunk
I don't give a fuckk
Wanna dance by myself
Guess you're outta luck
Don't touch back up
I'm not the one
Alright
Listen up it's just not happening
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight
Aiight

CHORUS
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Break break
Break it down

In the corner with your boys you bet up five bucks
To get at the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah

You know who you are
High fivin, talkin shit, but you're going home alone aren't cha?

Cause I'm not here for your entertainment
No
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
(Just stop and take a second)
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
(Know it's over)
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
(It's just you and your hand)

I'm not here for your entertainment
No no no
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
(Just take a second)
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Yeah oh

Just a hard fricken' day ...

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 21:03:51 GMT

I know I am being whiny, but this day has been absurdly hard on me.
I come in to work to find out one of my key IDs has "expired" Now I was half ass expecting this with my conversion to FTE status.
So, I try the alternate version of that ID. No luck. At all.
I call help desk. Yes, I still hate doing this. Even after all of this time. They are so difficult to handle and today was a prime example as to why.
I sit on hold for over an hour to get to a front line rep. I explain to him my situation. He looks up my contractor ID "I show this as still valid" Then he asks me what I think the new one is. And I tell him. "Hmm this one is valid too." Try and reset your new one through passport." I try, it still says suspended. "Let me try to reset your old one" "That is nice, but it is not a password error with that one, it is saying that the id is expired ... new password is not going to help with that." But does it anyway. Nope. Didn't work. Now I am going to be really mean for a moment. I am not a computer genius. In all reality, I should never work at a help desk. But it gets really old telling them that certain basic things are not the problem, and them trying to fix that anyway.
Moving on ...
He asks me for all my information for my computer. Tells me that this needs to go to the expert level. I get put back into que. An hour and half later, I want to go to my Yoga class that I take during my lunch hour. I hang up ... yes I hung up. I don't want to wait around and miss being able to do that with no guarentee that I would be picked up in a timely manner.
I call back after my Yoga class. I call, I wait 20 minutes and get another "triage" rep. I tell him what happened, gave him my ticket #. He looks for a couple minutes and tells me that I should contact this other group. That the alternate ID would not be mine and that is why I cannot reset it. . . Nice. I waited an hour and half and then another half hour to find out the first guy was incompetent. That is about par for the course when I call help desk.
Anyway, the email that the second guy gave me worked ... problem has a temporary fix and a permanent one in 2 days.
However, this in itself would have been a sucky day. But trying to do something while waiting for this I choose to do a dozen things. First, I try to figure out the bank account. I cannot seem to make it work. I feel like that I am running in circles with them and that they are doing very little to help me out. I am very frustrated. I have gone back and forth and back and forth. Nothing seems to work.
I know I am grumpy about it ... but I am giving up hope on this one.
I am frustrated by the custody issues. Both mine and his. So ... *shrug*
I took me forever to get get access to the account I have with all teh CDs. I didn't have any of the information that they wanted. Nor would I be able to. I was just really frustrated. I sounded like an fricken' idiot. And the guy was trying to help me so bad ... too bad I just didn't do well on that. Finally he was able to get enough access to change my email address, from there I was able to access my account. I guess I will be breaking one of those CDs to help solve this stupid situation. That is money that I had set aside for the kids. ... I am really really frustrated by the thougts of breaking it....

Personality Disorder Test ....

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 01:05:41 GMT

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --